Day 101: The Great Bedtime Fiasco

Last evening, whilst continuing my observation of the natives, I was charged, by the tribal leader, to prepare the young natives for their slumbers in the hope that upon her return to the abode, that they would be fast asleep.  The bedtime ritual consists of bathing, a ritual in and of itself, being properly attired in bedtime approved clothing, ensuring all of the necessary coverings are available and are present, disposable undergarments are clean and dry BEFORE slumbers begin, beverages are consumed prior to the hour that slumbers occur and above all else, that the natives have been fed and are not hungry.

Whilst this list may appear daunting, it is most necessary to the successful activity of laying the natives to rest.  On many an occasion, I have been present during the aftermath of not ensuring that each of the above conditions is met.  Perhaps most important of all of these requirements is the last one: ensuring that the natives are NOT hungry.  Thus, I present to you, The Great Bedtime Fiasco.

Following a rather scant dinner, Tuesday returned to her activity in the tribal living area.  The time was now 5:30 PM. I continued cleaning up after the young native, being a rather sloppy eater and proceeded to provide for Wednesday her sustenance for the evening, a solid mixture in the flavor of sweet potatoes.  My cleanup of the young natives continued as Wednesday polished off an entire container of the sweet potato mixture.  I then provided the young native with her liquid sustenance, which she readily agreed to.  Soon, she drifted off to her slumbers.  The time at that point was 6:30 PM.

I laid Wednesday down in her resting quarters and began preparing a bath for Tuesday.  The bathing ritual often requires multiple water-approved objects in the bathing basin as well as copious amounts of soap suds.  Often being present during the bathing ritual, I have found myself victim to the splashing and thrashing of the young native as she assumes others require being as drenched as she during this ritual.  Tuesday’s exuberance in bathing is particularly interesting.  Methinks she would prefer the bathing ritual to consuming sustenance some days.

This evening, as I prepared Tuesday to enter the bath, I heard the sounds of Wednesday awakening in the most disagreeable manner from her very short slumbers.  Noting this, I quickly performed the bathing ritual on Tuesday, whisked her out and dressed her in the appropriate clothing for rest.  Then, I returned to Wednesday’s resting quarters to care for her.  The time was now 7:00 PM.

Further activity occurred in the tribal living area for the next hour until at last, Tuesday began exhibiting signs of fatigue.  At last!  I gathered up the coverings that the young native requires and then sought to bring the young native to her resting quarters.  At first, she appeared amenable to the situation, however, that quickly changed.  Picking her up, wrestling with her attempts to dislodge herself from my clutches, I brought her to her resting quarters.  I must make clear at this point, that the room is dark with only light emitting from the corridor.  Tuesday finally succeeded in dislodging herself from my arms, but to her own dismay, for as she fell out of my arms, she fell into the confines of her resting quarters, hitting her head on the bottom rail.  Being very disagreeable and unhappy, I found the light and gathered up the young native in my arms once again and brought her back to the tribal living area.  No surface damage had been caused on the young native’s cranium and all appeared to be fine with her from that point.  The time was now 8:15 PM.

Once again, Tuesday showed signs of fatigue and once again I brought her to her resting quarters.  This time, I was careful not to allow the native to fall and placed her in her bed.  I started her musical lullaby recording and left the room, sure that the native would soon be fast asleep.  The time was now 8:30 PM.

Wednesday was showing no signs of fatigue at this point.  Every option at my disposal was met with futility as the youngest native wanted nothing to do with sleep nor slumber.  I then scooped up the native and brought her to another tribal resting quarters and placed her down on the bed.   I started up the electronic media box and turned down the overhead light as to facilitate sleep and I left the room.  The time was now 8:35 PM.

I soon received word from the tribal leader that she was journeying home early from her school of higher education.  At this point, both natives were then awake and quite disagreeable.  I conveyed this to the tribal leader and implored her to make haste in her return.

I then freed Tuesday from the confines of her resting quarters and she made no haste in attempting to enter the resting quarters that her younger sibling laid in.  The rage which Tuesday put forth at this point was perhaps impressive and frightening.  On and on the disagreeable native carried on, insisting on entering those resting quarters.  Soon, but not soon enough, the tribal leader returned and began calming the young native.  The time was now 8:50 PM.

Soon, all was quiet at the tribal abode and even the tribal leader and myself were at our slumbers.  Another day would arise, presenting new and difficult challenges for sure…


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