Day 107: Wednesday & Teething

For weeks now, Wednesday has been exhibiting signs of cutting her first teeth, on the bottom and in the front.  Normal behavior that is present with this behavior is overall disagreeableness, copious amounts of drool emitting from the mouth of the native and often an insatiable urge to gnaw on anything, be it their own fingers, other native’s fingers or an extraneous object.  I have observed this behavior as Wednesday’s teeth have developed and have concluded that teeth in question will be breaking through shortly.

Wednesday is but five months young; yet her eating habits suggest that she can compete with her older sibling Tuesday.  I wish to note that during this teething process, Wednesday’s appetite has not suffered, nor has she lost any girth due to the uncomfortable sensation in her gums.  She continues to consume, often at great speed and quantity, her sustenance, both liquid and solid.  She has, on occasion, been exhibiting disagreeable behavior, which is often the sign of her hunger.  And, often times, upon providing sustenance for the disagreeable native, she has produced an abundantly clear response that suggests that rather, she is not hungry and that the cause of her discomfort is another symptom.  One by one, by process of elimination, the cause of her discomfort is determined and the solution is thus:

There is an entity known as Hylands that produces a magic little tablet that is created for natives with this very affliction.  This tablet, white in color and small in size yields magic results, for soon after the disagreeable native consumes two of these magic pills, their very demeanor changes, almost instantly.  To be clear, these magic pills are accompanied and are governed by printed admonition; failure to not adhere to the proper procedure in administering these teething relievers may result in serious consequences.  For example, the directions admonish that to administer, the tablets should be dissolved under the tongue of a native, a precarious feat indeed.  You see, often when administering these wonder pills, teething natives have the tendency to bite and chew.  The native administering the relief must be strong, for the bite of a teething native can be even stronger.  Second, the directions admonish that a native may receive two tablets per hour up to six hours.  This rule, I must take exception with because it does not explain the consequences of going against the admonition.  Or what?  Does the teething native implode or explode?  Does the native turn in to a inconsolable raging beast that will decapitate my very person?  Such directions must explain consequences to be taken seriously.  Lastly, what the directions do not explain is that these wonderful little tablets may not perform the intended function on the intended native.  Meaning quite simply, the just don’t work.    I have observed this in very few cases, however the fact still remains that not every native reacts similarly to this remedy.

Fortunately for me and the tribe, Wednesday reacts most favorably to the teething tablets.  Almost instantly her demeanor changes and she becomes much more agreeable.  For now, she appears to be cutting two teeth, however there are thirty more to go….


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