Day 204: Repeated Attempts at Civilizing the Natives

Six months of observation have passed and repeated attempts at civilizing the natives have proved unsuccessful.  Since the festive season of the strange, fat man in the red suit has commenced, the natives have exhibited increased, seemingly uncontrollable, activity about the tribal living area.  I am uncertain about the reason for said activity nor do am I aware of what prompted the amplified antics of the savage natives.  I shall document their activity as has been observed in several weeks.

I shall begin with Tuesday, to whom rambunctious activity is no stranger.  Since the erection of the indoor lighted tree, Tuesday has exhibited a fascination with it and the objects that hang from its branches.  While decorating this tree, the tribal leader and I determined that the smaller, more fragile ornaments would remain at the top of said tree and the softer or durable objects would line the bottom.  Unsure of the natives’ intentions, I fastened a tether to the ceiling of the tribal living area, and the other end to the tree trunk, in the hope that it would restrict the trees movement when the natives were found trying to topple it.  To date, the natives have not taken advantage of the tether, which I hope will continue.

However, I digress. Often, I will find Tuesday underneath said tree, on her back, looking up through the lighted branches.  This activity is acceptable by tribal standards and I permit her to do so.  However, whilst under said tree, I often hear the sounds of the several objects, being bell-like in nature, being jostled around much like a sling shot.  Upon recognizing these sounds I quickly admonish Tuesday to refrain from modifying the placement of the objects on the tree and to depart from her present position.  Usually this is met with some lamentations and disagreeable behavior, but my requests are normally complied with.

In addition to activity underneath the tree, I often find Tuesday jumping rather forcefully the tribal living area furniture, particularly near the tree.  Now, Tuesday’s intentions of “bouncing” do not include staying in contact with the furniture she is “bouncing” on.  Moreover, on several occasions, I have caught her  attempting to “catch air” by launching herself across the furniture or worse, OFF the furniture.  I wish to note also that she is only two years of age.  And, likewise, upon observing these antics, I admonish her more strongly to cease and desist her antics on the furniture, which is sometimes successful and sometimes not.  Often, I find myself removing the rambunctious native physically, a feat that is difficult indeed.

Still further, she has attempted to climb other furniture or used smaller pieces of furniture to escape the confines of the tribal living area. I have been successful, for the most part, in thwarting attempts to escape, however, Tuesday’s intelligence is only outmatched by her resourcefulness.

Wednesday on the other hand, tends to exhibit much less activity, but I think to some degree runs interference or at the very least a distraction for her elder sibling.  Upon placing Wednesday on the floor of the tribal living area, I have found that due to her round shape and size, she rolls particularly well.  The younger native has not exhibited signs of beginning to crawl yet, however, which is only a matter of time.

Both natives are completely oblivious to the elf on the shelf and could probably care less as to its whereabouts.  Methinks the natives require being more civilized for the understanding of the elf on the shelf to be particularly meaningful.

For now the natives persist in their savage design.  I shall continue observation to ensure the tribal living area does not become a disaster area…


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