Day 225: Tuesday, the Great and Terrible

The title of this entry serves a dual purpose: for while it describes Tuesday, the native, and her behavior and activity, it also defines that day of the week when, seemingly, the natives, both Tuesday and Wednesday, appear demonically possessed.  This outlandish and heathen-like behavior has been occurring on this third day of the week for some time, yet I have no insight as to the cause of such radically different behavior.  Tuesday normally demonstrates heathen like behavior, however it is often controllable.  On Tuesdays, Terrible Tuesdays, her mischief and obedience skills disappear entirely and she has, at times, transformed into a raging two-year old beast.

As a general rule, the behavior of the natives on the Monday prior to Terrible Tuesday is near perfect behavior for them.  Listening skills, on these days, tend to be at their height and the demons within the natives stay hidden, well within them.  One such day was Monday of this week; the natives were both of general good behavior and were perhaps low-key because of sleep deprivation.  Their rest periods, which they willingly took, afforded them the necessary strength and energy to actively play about the tribal abode.  Though Tuesday spread many of her toys and playthings about the tribal living area, the mayhem she was responsible for was mild compared with that of Terrible Tuesday.  Indeed, even their eating habits and tendencies appear to be much less chaotic.  Yes, Mondays are the ideal day of the week, the calm before the storm, if you will.

Terrible Tuesday normally arrives in disguise: there is no ominous fanfare or demonic herald, no.  It commences like any other day, silently creeping up on me like a feline predator stalking its prey.  Yes, and once Terrible Tuesday has reared its ugly head, there is no going back.

Yesterday, being Tuesday, and naturally morphing into Terrible Tuesday, began with young Tuesday arriving at the door of our resting quarters, throwing open the door and bidding myself and the tribal leader a fond good morning.  This was followed by evil, but cute, laughter as she tore off into the tribal living area.  I quickly arose to ensure the destruction that lay in her wake was not extensive, which, much to my great fortune, it was not.  However, at this point, Wednesday was not awake, and to ensure that she did not prematurely awaken, I sealed the door to the resting chamber and closed the gate, corralling Tuesday in the tribal living area.  I was hardly prepared to be awake at this hour and my vision was still quite blurry.  However, I was able to change Tuesday’s disposable undergarment and dress her for the day’s activities.  She was amenable to this and played about the tribal living area for several minutes, until the sounds of her younger sibling waking caused me to retrieve Wednesday and bring her to the tribal living area as well.  Once up, the transformation from cute, obedient little natives to demonic heathens began.

Tuesday and Wednesday have some sort of silent code of conduct between them whereby when one of the two is being cared for, the other immediately begins lamenting for attention.  I have dealt with this behavior with what patience I might command, however on Terrible Tuesday, my tolerance is driven to the point of insanity.  The first meal of the day is often a trick and will determine the cadence for the remainder of the days events.  Tuesday consumed yogurt this particular morning and appeared to remain relatively clean.  Upon wiping up the young native, she retreated to the tribal living area where Wednesday was growing impatient and unimpressed with the service being provided her.  I then provided her with her sustenance, which she consumed rapidly.  Following the consumption of her meal, she still remained rather unsettled.  I offered her a liquid beverage, not anywhere nearly as strong as what I would have liked at this point, however, with force and velocity, she pushed it away.  I then removed her from the communal eating surface and she joined her elder sibling in the tribal living area.

Whilst providing sustenance for the natives, the wildlife had penetrated into the natives’ resting chambers, which was allowed at this point.  Often, the wildlife tends to get in on the fun with Terrible Tuesday, which was the case on this morning.  One of the domestic felines coughed up what appeared to be a large three to four-inch hairball on the front window ledge of their chambers.  Upon finding said present, I used some colorful expletives to describe the wildlife, retrieved the necessary materials to, for lack of a better word, purge the area and quickly cleaned up the mess.

By this point, Tuesday had done quite a job spreading debris about the tribal living area.  I needed to be very careful on my return trip to the food preparation area, which with some skill and agility I was able to navigate.  Following the breakfast fiasco, I laid Wednesday down for a rest period.  Finally!  And then, all I had to contend with was Tuesday.  Tuesday already began to exhibit signs of fatigue, however, she apparently was not giving into them.  I was determined that she would also experience a rest period as well.  However, I was wrong.  Very wrong.

Soon, and after several reprimands, it became time for Tuesday to consume her midday sustenance, consisting of hot dogs, indigenous berries and some vegetable flavored sticks, which she consumed rapidly.  Prior to her midday sustenance, and following her first meal of the day, Tuesday had been requesting a small, frosted cake that she has grown rather fond of.  I reminded her at several opportunities that she was required to eat a regular meal acceptably, the items I mentioned previously, and THEN she could have her “cuppy” or “cupcake” as they are traditionally called.

She consumed the frosting off the top of the “cuppy” and then proceeded to be done with the small dessert.  For such a small consumption, she made a hell of a fuss.  She then ran about the tribal abode, into objects and lamenting about the collision.  It was at this point that I endeavored to lay her to rest for a much-needed rest period.  The first of three attempts involved Tuesday willingly proceeding to her new open resting quarters.  I tucked her in and wished her pleasant resting.  Apparently, it was not pleasant, for not even two minutes hence I put her down, she was up and filled with piss and vinegar.  Again, I prompted her to return to her resting quarters, and attempted to cover her again, admonishing her to lay down prior to my departure from the resting chambers.  Again, she arose and again, I implored her return.  Upon her rising the last time, I recanted on efforts to get her to rest and let her roam about the tribal abode.

Wednesday, in this moment, was consuming her midday sustenance.  After a similar performance as at her breakfast meal, Wednesday was returned to the circular exercise apparatus.  She had begun to show signs of discontent which was quickly remedied by the small magical teething pills.

Numerous other episodes occurred, mostly involving a disagreeable Tuesday with some toy or plaything she could not manage.  Other episodes included the infamous blue chair upon which I found her standing, exclaiming and gesticulating wildly to the birds which were now at her eye level. Further episodes involved removing video media from the media storage structure, a feat which she has been reprimanded for previously and demanding that her younger sibling unhand an object that she perceived to be hers.  Yes, I grew very fatigued from admonishing Tuesday to refrain from her illegal activities.

Fortunately, reinforcements would soon be on the way and the tribal leader would return home.  Ironically, the demonic heathens generally transform back into cute little natives prior to the tribal leader’s return thus causing further frustration when I report to her on the behavior and occurrences of the day.

So, as you can see, Terrible Tuesday does in fact have a dual meaning.  Perhaps, the word “Tuesday” is synonymous with terrible behavior or occurrences.  Perhaps, these demonic heathens are the true natives and the cute little cherubs are merely disguises.  Or, perhaps, just maybe, Terrible Tuesday is all a product of my overactive imagination….or is it?

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