Day 231: Tuesday Has a Taste for Cream…Diaper Rash Cream

The manifest of items and objects that Tuesday has attempted to consume, or at least sample, is quite extensive though the rate at which she attempts to try new things appears to be diminishing, sans for this evening.  The list of items Tuesday has consumed either by a light sampling or by massive quantities includes but is not limited to teething tablets, crayons, both wooden and plastic playthings, paper, cellophane and most recently, zinc oxide cream, perhaps better known as butt cream.  Butt cream is used by the tribe to treat young natives for diaper dermititis, or rather, diaper rash.  It is a white cream, that when applied to the area of the native in question, soothes the afflicted skin and keeps the native agreeable.

The episode in questions occurred this evening, during the evening meal’s preparation.  The tribal leader and I were busy preparing the meal of the evening: eggs, scrambled with cheese accompanied by toasted bread and, perhaps meat that could be its own food group, bacon.  The tribal leader normally prepares the eggs because for some unknown reason, eggs prepared by anyone else are just not the same.  My duty is to prepare the toasted bread and bacon for our consumption.  Whilst preparations for the feast were being made, Tuesday continued rampaging through the tribal abode, scampering from room to room leaving objects and playthings in her wake.

Thinking that perhaps a program on the electronic media box would entertain the native and keep her out of mischief, I started the media player and the program began to start.  I continued my labors, preparing my portion of the meal to ensure that it would be ready in time.  Before I could continue, however, Wednesday, who was seated in her adjustable seating apparatus, began clamoring and lamenting to be fed her evening sustenance.  I determined that her cause could not wait, so I abandoned my former intentions and attempted to keep Wednesday agreeable.  Wednesday, as per usual, ate with a fury.  Feeding her has become somewhat of a challenge in that she attempts to flail around as if to bat the utensil I’m using to feed her with out of my hand.  Only the quick and the skilled prevail against these odds.  However skilled and quick I may be, I could not foresee or be quick enough to thwart the antics that would occur next.

Tuesday had been rather quiet whilst I was providing Wednesday with sustenance.  I find this to be the case often and, often, Tuesday is up to no good.  Such was the case this evening.  Tuesday came wandering into the food preparation area with a small tube with white cream oozing out.  I only caught a small glimpse and I immediately alerted the tribal leader to thwart Tuesday’s plans.  The tube of white cream was zinc oxide, an ointment for relieving young natives of diaper dermititis or diaper rash.  We had been applying it to Wednesday’s posterior to soothe her rather red bottom.  Tuesday had decided to give the white paste a taste test.

You must excuse the absence of pictorial documentation; the action of disarming the young native of the butt cream took precedence and hence, no images were taken to document the incident.  I will, however, describe Tuesday as she was caught red, or rather, white-handed.  The tube was opened, obviously, and similar to the crayon incident a few months back, Tuesday had applied it to her lips and around her mouth like a lip adornment.  She apparently consumed some of the white paste, however, there was still a fair amount left in the tube, so she could not have consumed much.  The tribe leader wiped her face and swept her mouth thoroughly as the native struggled to break free of the tribal leader’s grasp.  Upon finishing the cleanup job of Tuesday, the tribal leader investigated the actions to take in the event that a native swallows the diaper cream.

This prompted a call to the poison control center, who in turn told us that the native would survive and would be quite fine.  We were relieved and relocated the tube to a place of higher elevation, out of reach of the offending native.  The evening meal was consumed and the natives are preparing for slumber.  Once again, Tuesday has not ceased to amaze me.  The situation could have concluded much worse than originally thought and we are relieved that the outcome is positive.  Tuesday will indeed live to play another day and, at least for tonight, will not have chapped lips.


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