Day 265: Tuesday Tests My Limits

God created every man, in his infinite wisdom, with limits – boundaries the mark the line between sanity and chaos, right and wrong, peace and rage.  Ironically, he has given each of us the ability to reproduce miniature versions of ourselves, however with one small hitch – these miniature versions of ourselves, replicas if you will, are blessed without knowledge except that inherent desire to defy authority.  Some may say, and have said, that little ones as young as they are, have no knowledge of defiance nor do they seek to test the limits of authority.  I say hogwash.  They know exactly what they are doing.

Earlier last week, the day at this moment is inconsequential, other than that it was not Terrible Tuesday, I experienced a moment, or moments, that tested the limits that separate my disposition from being tolerant to dogmatic.  The incident I shall now describe lasted but a few minutes, however it moved in slow motion and lasted nearly an eternity.

The episode began by retrieving Wednesday to change her soiled disposable undergarment.  Wednesday has grown rather defiant in her desire to cooperate with such an activity and often exhibits civil disobedience during the process, much to my chagrin.  No matter, I think to myself, the job will get done, preferably the easy way, or the hard way.  On most occasions, the hard way is the method utilized.  Wednesday continues to squirm this way and that, with her feet and legs bound by my left hand.  Those who have ever attempted to hold a fish out of water may have a clear example of the nature of her movement.  It is impressive that so young a native can gyrate in so many directions whilst being bound at the feet, however, in this moment, I was neither impressed, nor was I pleased.  For, while Wednesday was squirming and gyrating, the soiled disposable undergarment managed to deposit some of its contents on the reclining tribal furniture, on which the process was occurring.  Muttering, rather loudly, some colorful expletives to explain my displeasure and the situation, I quickly addressed the now soiled furniture and continued with the operation.  Wednesday, continued to squirm until I removed the soiled disposable undergarment from the changing surface and placed it neatly on the floor of the tribal living area.

Enter Tuesday.

Whilst continuing with the process of applying a new disposable undergarment on Wednesday’s clean bottom, Tuesday arrived on the scene investigating her younger sibling’s antics.  Marching straight through the soiled disposable undergarment that I had neatly placed on the floor, Tuesday began her ascent up on the reclining tribal furniture.  Now, as I have said previously, I consider myself to be a patient man.  I do.  However, with Wednesday’s antics and squirming during the changing of her disposable undergarment coupled with Tuesday’s recent march through the soiled undergarment which spread its contents across the floor, I finally exceeded my limit.

I am not entirely sure of the radius that my neck turned or how many revolutions it made at that moment, nor do I know how many shades of green my face turned or how many horns mutated out of my head, however, I do know that I immediately removed Tuesday from the scene by picking up the native and placing her as far from the scene of the crime as possible.   Completing the procedure with Wednesday, I ensured that she would not roll off the changing surface and continued my cleanup of the contents of the soiled undergarment.  Bundling it up neatly so that no further disasters could occur with the package, I finished the process of the changing procedure.

Soon, however, I began to regain my calm and the horns retracted, the flesh color returned to my face and I resumed a normal range of motion with my neck.  Indeed, every man has his limits.  Some are further out than others; it appears Tuesday has found mine.  Do I think this will be the last time Tuesday attempts to test my limits? No.  Unfortunately, no.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Lois on February 20, 2012 at 11:58 am

    a MILLION times no!!!


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