Day 376: Tuesday Escapes from the Tribal Abode…Twice, Locks Her and Wednesday in Resting Quarters

Most of you who clicked the title of this entry did so assuming that I have some fantastic tale of how Tuesday managed to elude my senses (and those of the tribal elders) and slip out of the tribal abode not once, but twice.  Fortunately for you, you will not be let down.  And, so that you may perceive the most detailed and clearest rendition of Tuesday’s Great Escape, I shall start from the beginning: this morning.

For those readers who are outside of the northeast region of tribe, I will describe the weather that the tribe and I are currently experiencing.  It is hot.  Hotter than the gates of Hell.  Hot enough to knock up nuns and sheep.  I believe the temperature outside the abode this morning fell in at approximately seventy-eight degrees – at eight o’clock in the forenoon.  The tribal abode was also, shall we say warm due to the mechanical cooling device which normally refrigerates the tribal abode to cease blowing cool air last evening.  The air is thick and heavy, causing everything and everyone to feel covered in flypaper.  Ceiling mounted fanning devices were turned on to facilitate air movement and to cool down the natives, tribal leader and myself as much as possible overnight.

Tuesday awoke earlier than normal and at approximately thirty minutes past the eight o’clock hour.  Filled with piss and vinegar, she was more than prepared to begin her day of terrorizing the wildlife and her younger sibling.  I, however, was not.  I arose slowly and attempted to keep up with the native who had already retreated from the door of our resting quarters to the tribal living area.  Wednesday was also wide awake and ready to begin her day.  Fan-freakin’-tastic.

The morning went as usual, the morning sustenance was served at the normal hour and the natives, for the most part, went about their business.  It was just before high noon that things took a quick turn in a different direction – that of the path of mischief and disobedience.

The tribal elders arrived around high noon and stopped in briefly for a visit.  Wednesday was napping when they arrived but was quickly awoken by her heathen sibling prematurely.  After rescuing the now distraught Wednesday from the confines of her resting quarters, I retreated to the food preparation area to begin preparations for the midday meal.

Now, here is where things got interesting.

The tribal elders, Wednesday and I were situated in the food preparation area when I suddenly discovered that we were not graced with Tuesday’s presence.  That’s when I noticed the inner door to the outside of the abode open.  I quickly sprang to the door to find that Tuesday was outside on the deck, still in her pajamas, running around.  There was a quick moment when I noticed her and she noticed me that we hesitated to prepare for what action might be taken next. Tuesday attempted to escape down to the outside exercise apparatus, however, barefoot, I caught the native and quickly returned her, kicking and screaming, to the tribal abode.  Escape number one, shame on Tuesday.

Once inside, Tuesday continued her disagreeable behavior and pretended to be engrossed with the program on the electronic media box.  I continued my visit with the tribal elders and preparing sustenance for the famished Wednesday.  While deep in conversation with the tribal elders and preparing lunch for Wednesday, Tuesday grabbed her elliptical exercise apparatus helmet and slipped once again, undetected outside and proceeded into the backyard of the tribe.  Once again, I noticed the light from the open door pouring in the abode and I quickly went to search for Tuesday, who at this time, after calling her by name several times, appeared from behind the tribal abode.  Again, I retrieved the young native who began to go into convulsions, revolting the effort to get her inside the abode.  Escape number two, shame on me.

Soon, the tribal elders left and I was once again left with the natives who were distraught over their departure.  Sigh.  Noting Wednesday’s fatigue and determining that she was still in need of an uninterrupted nap, I scooped up the young native and brought her to her resting quarters, with Tuesday following quickly behind.  Neither native at this point was pleased with the resting arrangement, however, I was stern in my efforts to get them a resting time.  Closing the door to their resting quarters, I was hoping that they’d stay in the room.  Much to my surprise, they did.  Once Tuesday locked the door.

I only know that the door was locked when I went to open it to let Tuesday who was attempting to escape, out, however, the door was most assuredly locked from the inside.  Quickly thinking, I called the tribal leader who had only one remedy for the situation which, after employing her solution to the problem, failed.  Investigating the situation more closely, I determined the only way to get into the room was to remove the hardware – the door knob, latch and lock and thus forcing the door open.  After several harried minutes, I was able to get the natives out, no worse for the wear.  After working diligently to reassemble the door knob hardware, I had a “Come to Jesus” with Tuesday.

I informed her that I was less than pleased – no, I was bullshit (I didn’t use those words) with her and that she had lost the privilege of further exercise outside today, which is good because as was stated previously, it’s freakin’ hot out.  I informed her that she needed to respect my authority and to do the things I ask her to do.  Whether this sank in or not, I don’t know.  I do know that I will be fashioning some sort of safety lock for the door and obstructing the lock for their resting quarters.  It’s either that or I tie Tuesday to a chair….


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Linnette on July 5, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Jeff, With all that goes on there, I don’t kow how you have time to entertain us with your Blog….but I am glad for the laughs!


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