Day 423: Tuesday Utilizes the Indoor Latrine & Defaces the Electronic Media Box…for the Second Time

It has again, been some time since I last recorded the behavior of the natives – and as with previous absences, it was not due to lack of activity on the part of the natives.  The devious heathens have been quite active and have caused me some distress; often I find myself reprimanding one of the two natives for engaging in illegal tribal activities.  Yes, even the mild-mannered and seemingly innocent Wednesday is not without her mischievous and premeditated inclinations.  Together the natives are a duplicitous (because I like the word) duo of destruction.  And, because of their destructive activity, I have been delinquent on recording their behavior.

Yet, with their destructive behavior and heathen-like tendencies, I have discovered some development within my dealing and observations with them.  Wednesday has begun to walk – and by walk I mean lumber aimlessly, and often quite clumsily, throughout the tribal abode.  Her climbing skills have been honed and are becoming a bit of an issue – particularly when discovering her on top of the tribal eating surface in the tribal living area.  Standing.  Waving her arms as though signaling for large aircraft to land.  Screaming like a banshee.  However, he walking is progressing quite nicely and there is some benefit to her new-found mobility.  For one, since the native is upwards of thirty pounds in weight, she does not require being toted and hauled from one place to another, rather, she prefers to “toddle” her way in a general direction.  For two, she is beginning to display signs of matching feats of strength and sparring with her elder sibling.  This I am particularly fond of, seeing as Tuesday has taken to tackling and holding her younger, weaker sibling down.  I look forward to the day whence Wednesday will defend herself against the brute force that Tuesday exerts on her.

Tuesday is not without her developmental merits as well.  She has begun to use the indoor latrine, a developmental milestone for all young natives.  On evening last, she displayed an interest in the use of said latrine and whilst sitting upon her majesty’s royal throne, she performed the necessary…function…that is normally executed there.  This was met with great fanfare and celebration as it would be the beginning of the end of the use of disposable undergarments for her.  Since, she has displayed more interest in sitting on her “throne” and will disrobe and request to sit on the latrine whilst completely bare-assed, however, without producing any further results.  In fact, I was required, most craftily, to remove her from the latrine, as she refused to come out willingly.  Some say my use of trickery and bribes is uncouth and improper, however, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Just when I think that there is hope for the natives to escape their heathen tendencies, I am quickly reminded that one step forward will indeed bring us two steps back.

My “bribe” for getting Tuesday out of the latrine was to offer her crayons – perhaps her most treasured possession amongst her playthings.  My trickery worked quite well, and soon she was sitting at her easel with a program on the electronic media box.  Wednesday was resting in her resting quarters.  All was quiet.  Too quiet.

I should have known better.  I really should have.  I mean, why the hell would Tuesday sit quietly at her easel with her crayons and color ONLY ON THE PAPER when there was an electronic media box that was RIGHT THERE.  I surmise that one can see where I am leading with this.  With that, I give you Exhibit A:

As can clearly be seen, Tuesday determined that the electronic media box required more blue.  Crayon.  And, I wish I could say that this episode was the first time that Tuesday had decided to add some color to the electronic media box.  However, I can’t.  For, not even a week hence, she had performed the very same operation, applying a green color to the screen of the electronic media box.  Sigh. I quickly removed the offending instruments from the immediate area and informed the offender that she would not be seeing these crayons for quite some time.  This was met with expected disagreement which I responded promptly by reminding the native about the previous incident involving the crayons and the electronic media box.  As expected, Tuesday ran off, lamenting as she went over the loss of her art materials.  Boo-freakin’-hoo.

I acquired the necessary cleaning materials to remove the fashionable blue crayon from the electronic media box, which went away easily.  Lovely.

As of right now, Tuesday and Wednesday are in the tribal living area, apparently having issues “sharing”.  Sigh.  Perhaps I will search for some ratchet ties and strap them both to chairs.  Perhaps…

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