Day 426: A Rant of Sorts

Today I feel the need to deviate from normal observations and discuss, or rather complain openly about an issue that arises daily regarding the natives and the electronic media.  I am going to be completely frank and candid and release my frustrations on this issue in their entirety.  Please enjoy.

I honestly don’t know why the electronic media is such a draw to the native’s attention.  Seriously.  Every damn day I let the natives play in the tribal living area, the always resort to removing all of the electronic media from the piece of furniture that houses them.  Every last fucking one of them.  And, every day, I remove the media from their clutches and remind them sternly that the electronic media and their cases are OFF LIMITS.  Every. Day.

What the hell?  Is there a frigging magnet for toddlers inside each media case, like a prize in every box?  For the love of God, all I freakin’ ask is for one frigging, every frigging day…for the natives to leave the shit alone.  That’s it.  Leave the electronic media alone.  Is this too much to ask?  It’s not like I’m asking them to sort by subject and order them alpha-freakin’-betically.  Just leave them the hell alone.  That’s it.

But, alas, it’s not the simple.  I have removed Wednesday, poor innocent little Wednesday (please note the intended sarcasm there) SEVERAL times in one day, and already twice this morning from flinging the electronic media across the tribal living area carelessly, chaotically.  Tuesday at this point is merely an accomplice and prefers to OPEN the media cases and remove the fragile discs.  What the fuck?  Would it really be too much to ask to have natives that were not as brilliant when it comes to such motor skills as opening these media cases?  Two and a half-freakin’ years and she can open and remove discs from their cases.  Sometimes she puts them in the player.  No joke.

And when requested to cease and desist their activity, what do I get for a response?

Blank stares.  Crickets. Sometimes a half-smile.  Yeah.  That goes over REAL well. Often times, blatant disregard for my requests – and sometimes, they furiously and feverishly work faster at their task, knowing that they’ll be forcibly removed within seconds of their entrapment.  And then, suddenly, I’m the bad guy.  I’m the villain.  I can hear their little minds saying, “Oh shit, here’s the warden.  Better do what damage I can before he locks me up.”

Don’t get me wrong, the natives are not hardened criminals or anything, but they are repeat offenders.  That’s right.  Habitual.  Like a moth to a flame.  And, what’s worse is these natives often work in tandem – one runs interference while the other does the deed.  A regular Bonnie and Clyde, except it’s Bonnie and Claudia.

What’s my point?  The point is I’m frustrated with the blatant disregard for my requests.  Yes, the natives are two and a half and sixteen months respectively, however,  by now and the countless spankings I’ve administered, some of this should be sinking in.  Seriously.  So, there is no solution here, other than to hang the freakin’ electronic media from the ceiling of the tribal living area, which really isn’t such a bad idea.  Or, I could suspend the natives from the ceiling…that would be entertaining.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Monique on August 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

    You know those super yard gates that you can string together and bend as needed? They work BRILLIANTLY when put around the electronic media to keep offending children away. Otherwise, and i know this is not what you want to hear, but they are doing exactly what 99% of toddlers their age do. Frustrating to the “nth” degree, I know. Keep being consistent with the discipline and redirecting.


    • I know. I just get irritated, day after day. And, if I thought the gates would actually keep them out of it, I’d do it. But, Tuesday can SCALE the step gate that we have to double lock because she can operate it. Wednesday is pretty strong herself so I’m thinking it wouldn’t really work. We’ve got two brilliant little natives, which is a blessing, I know, but sometimes I wish that there were not quite as brilliant and capable.


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