Day 440: Tuesday Refuses to Take Direction, Nearly Causes Catastrophe

There is a point to which observation of the tribe transforms into defense against repeated accidental attacks by the natives. Of late, I find my inner green rage monster appearing more and more as the natives continue to test my mental fortitude.  Today’s episode, occurring at approximately nine o’clock in the forenoon, involved Tuesday, a particular item on one of the food preparation surfaces in the preparation area, my coffee and yes, my electronic media device.  As you can probably surmise, this is not going to be a tale of humorous interactions with the natives; rather, this is a tale of woe regarding Tuesday’s inability to take direction.

To set the stage – this is my first cup of coffee – in fact, the cup is still half full – half full, half empty, it’s all the same.  Anyways, the cup in question was in its usual  placement, at my right hand, ready to be consumed at a moment’s notice.  My electronic media device is in front of me as I attempt to perform some type of work function.  Wednesday, having woken from her slumbers earlier than her elder sibling, since Tuesday had awakened during the wee hours of the morning she was still asleep, was toddling about the tribal living area, not at all attempting to maintain a low volume.  Wednesday had been out to the food preparation area several times, seeking sustenance – I fear the native might eat the wildlife soon if not fed proper sustenance.  Soon, however, Tuesday awoke and made her appearance at my left side in the food preparation area.

Her immediate presence in the food preparation area was not problematic – she actually appeared quietly and without much fanfare.  All this began to deteriorate somewhat rapidly.

Soon, Tuesday began searching for food – like a predator, hunting throughout the food preparation area for the right sustenance to consume.  Her gaze fell upon a yellow cake substance, encased in a plastic package.  She immediately began to acquire the sustenance, while requesting assistance with its packaging.

The remaining events appeared to happen in slow motion.

I admonished Tuesday to stop her current actions.  No reaction.  I admonished again, this time more sternly, for her cease and desist with her actions to acquire the package, however to no avail.  She continued with her previous intent, thus causing a chain reaction.

Whirling around with the package in-hand, Tuesday plunked the plastic container down on the communal eating surface, with force and velocity.  The location at which the plastic container now resided in forced my coffee cup – my coveted fucking coffee cup – to tip over.  My reflexes being somewhat delayed – the irony being that coffee is usually what enhances them – I was only able to save the cup from tipping over completely, not to save the contents of the cup from spilling over that area of the eating surface.

I am reasonably sure – no, I’m fucking positive – that I must have turned green and sprouted horns following the episode I’ve just described.  I mean really.  Luckily for Tuesday, the damage was not unrepairable and most of the coffee cleaned up quickly.  While still green and featuring horns, I demanded that Tuesday listen and take direction from me, in the hopes that whilst still raging, she might understand how displeased I was with her.  I think my point got across.  For now.

At the moment, all is quiet – the natives appear to be playing quietly in the tribal living area.  Tuesday has appeared only briefly in the food preparation area, and even then, very gingerly.  Good, my point was taken.  I feel my pale skin color returning to my body as well as the horns retracting back into my head.  Blood pressure returning to normal, whatever that is.  All electronic devices are in proper order and only my coffee cup suffers from not being full at the moment.  We have averted yet another catastrophe in the tribal abode.  Phew.

As for Tuesday’s inability to listen, I am perplexed.  Perhaps my inner green rage monster will have to future appearances.  Probably. Perhaps the native has learned her lesson about asking for assistance rather than attempting to acquire things on her own.  Hardly. Indeed there is work to be done.

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