Day 630: Preparations Begin for Wednesday’s Sleeping Quarter Transformation

There emerges a period of time in the lives of the natives, and those who care for them, to make changes that will benefit the native’s development from cherub-like little infants to mischievous little imps.  Many of these changes, Tuesday has already been witness to: the switch to from that God-awful, expensive formula to real sustenance; from being fed to feeding herself; and from confined sleeping quarters, aptly resembling a cage, to a small, native-sized bed, which she can climb into and out of.  Wednesday is experiencing many of these living changes, however, of those previously mentioned, her sleeping quarters have yet to be converted.

After a recent discussion with the tribal leader, it was determined that the time has arrived for Wednesday’s bed to undergo…The Conversion – a day that I have been perhaps dreading since she gained her mobility.  For various reasons, the time has now come and the “conversion” is set to take place tomorrow in the afternoon.

I have approached this with mixed feelings as I’m sure this change will afford fewer opportunities for sleep in the near future for the tribal leader and myself.  Wednesday has a habit, more of a knack really, of  waking at ungodly hours of the morning and performing tribal rituals of great volume and intensity.  Her ritual normally consists of loud yelling, squeals and other carrying on noises, all happy mind you, while rolling around about her resting quarters, fully confined in her present sleeping cage.  Now those of you saying, cage?  You make her sleep in a cage?  No, no we do not.  I merely refer to the confines of her crib as a cage and for good reason.  You see, Wednesday is also really fond of waking her sister, at ungodly hours as well.  Misery, or in this case, mischief, loves company.  While confined inside her resting quarters now, she only has her voice to wake her elder sibling, which in some cases is more than enough.  But, I digress.

Yes, indeed, bedtime for the natives will perhaps be a bit of a circus tomorrow evening.  I expect the events of the evening to go something like this:

Around the 8 o’clock hour:  Wednesday will be prepared for her slumbers.  She will be marched in like a drunk penguin to her newly transformed resting quarters and tucked in with all the accoutrements she requires: her blanket, her small stuffed canine and a drink, nothing too stiff, but a little wine never hurt anyone before bed.  Kidding.  Again, we do not give the natives, as much as we’d like to, wine.  That’s for us.

2 minutes after:  Wednesday emerges from her resting quarters for round 2.  Wednesday is re-marched back in to her resting quarters and returned to the place from whence she came.  She is also admonished to not get out of bed again, met most likely with giggles.

2-5 minutes after that: Wednesday emerges again, refusing to stay in her resting quarters.  Again she is returned.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

During this time, Tuesday is most likely running about, causing hate and discontent and overall being a bit of a nuisance, contributing to Wednesday’s curiosity and refusal to stay in her resting quarters.

About 11 o’clock: The natives, at least Tuesday, give in and fall asleep.  This is preceded by coaxing, frequent admonishment and requests to go to their resting quarters, all of which fail. Miserably.

As you can assume, I have little faith in the first night of the conversion going well.  In fact, I expect there to be little sleep being had by anyone except Tuesday.  That girl can sleep through just about anything.  But, for now, the preparations begin.  The transformation will take place tomorrow. Chaos will begin around 8 pm tomorrow evening.  The drinking of wine will commence shortly after the conversion is finished.

Stay tuned for The Great Conversion Calamity…


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