Day 852: The Potty Training Gauntlet

Few things compare to the frustrations and joys of potty training young natives  – and by “few things”, I mean damn little.  Indoor latrine use, instead of disposable undergarments, has been encouraged and proposed to the eldest of the natives for several months now, however, with little progress.  Until this weekend last.  With a little insight from a trusted source, it was determined to ensure that BOTH natives begin using the indoor latrine or “potty” consistently and the remainder of said disposable undergarments were to be…well…disposed of.  Thus, potty training occurred in earnest around the tribal abode beginning on Saturday last, and progressing to this very day.

The idea of using the indoor latrine for both natives was welcomed with open arms, initially.  Methinks, as in many case and in many things, the concept was more glamorous than the act itself, however, whether in theory or in practice, there was and is NO turning back.

On day one of the potty training gauntlet – I prefer the term “gauntlet” because it aptly describes the fortitude required to get, not one but two natives to recognize the need to use the potty BEFORE having an accident in the tribal living area floor – I was not present for the commencement of strict indoor latrine use;  all information I received was second hand from the tribal leader who wore the mantle of training the two heathens in the ways of indoor latrine use.  First, she is now a candidate for sainthood, for if I had been alone with them, shackled with the responsibility of instructing the natives and coordinating their indoor latrine duties, I surely would have gone mad.  However, with the fortitude of Job, she endured through most of the daylight hours until my return when I joined her in her efforts to encourage the natives to use the potty.

Initially, the natives were, shall we say, less than perfect in attempting to get to the indoor latrine in time.  And by “less than perfect” I mean there was SOME effort to get to the latrine before soiling their undergarments, except that it was much too late.  Yup.  Like pee wherever they were standing, be it in the tribal living area or next to the potty in the latrine, so close, but yet, so far.  However, this was only day one.

The frustration sets in when one asks the natives if they need to use the latrine and the answer is a definitive “NO.”  However, within thirty seconds or say, five minutes, there they are with a river of urine running down their leg, as they scamper to the latrine.  Ah, yes.  The joys of potty training.  However, it got better.

Day two of the potty training gauntlet brought more use of the potty and fewer accidents.  Not perfect and overnight the first night there was but one accident from Tuesday, but otherwise, a tremendous effort.  Again, I was not present for the natives waking, and for the first few hours of the morning, however, I am told that there were fewer accidents and more potty use.  Upon my return, I picked up where I left off, attempting to assist the natives in reminding them about the need to use the indoor latrine.  In some cases, the encouragement took much more effort on my part, but yielded progress in the end.

Day three yielded more positive results, however, with a few accidents.  Their overnight record was perfect, with no accidents of any kind.  There was actually hope!  While the day was a mixture of perfect potty use, with a little encouragement and reminding, the tribe showed great progress and promise in mastering the potty training gauntlet, however, with one small hiccup.

During evening sustenance, I noticed that Wednesday was exhibiting some signs of possible need to use the potty – fidgeting, not sitting still, lack of focus on eating, etc. so I deemed it necessary to encourage her to use the potty, which she did, somewhat reluctantly, which has been her MO from the start.  However, after prodding her down the hallway toward the latrine, she stopped and attempted to pick up every little item in her path.  Sigh.  Now.  Now of all time she feels the need to pick up.

After getting her to the latrine, assisting her with her undergarments, she sat down and used the potty.  Choirs of angels were singing somewhere, I just know.  When she was finished, she stood up and that’s when the fun began.

Now, the speed at which a two and a half-year old native can pick up the potty and hurl the urine FILLED potty chair toward the flushable latrine is directly proportional to the time it takes to rip two sheets of toilet paper off the roll on the wall of the latrine.  That’s a math problem.  You figure it out…

As soon as I saw her pick up the potty, out of the corner of my eye, things began to move in slow motion.  Before I could even utter the word “NOOOOO!”, and with the form of an Olympic discus throwing athlete,  she had hurled the urine out of the potty in the direction of the latrine, splattering mostly over the bathroom floor.  In a word, I felt defeated.  Wednesday, on the other hand, was extremely proud of herself, proclaiming that she now needed to wash her hands.  Yup, you and me both.  And the floor.  And the toilet.  And anything else that was in the way of the pee hurling toddler, bringing new meaning to the phrase, “piss off.”

After cleaning the native up, the floor and anything that suffered the shower of pee during Wednesday’s potty episode, the native returned to business as usual.  And, after being slightly mortified, I returned to my meal.  Lest I think that the natives do not understand how and where to empty the portable latrine, I need to think again.  Sigh.  Too smart for their own damn good.

Today, use of the indoor latrine is going well.  The natives have both used the potty several times and there have been no accidents…yet.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Lou Lange on October 8, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Keep the faith! We had struggles with our two natives but with persistence etc., we got it done/

    Reply

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